Dreaded 30 closes in as clock ticks faster
A friend of mine introduced me to the show “How I Met Your Mother” a couple of weeks ago. It’s about a group of late 20-somethings exploring life, love, disappointments and happiness. I had never really watched the show before, but the more I watch it, the more I begin analyzing my life.
It could be the fact that I turned 28 last week. I thought that last year was pretty traumatic. Twenty-seven was the age by which I thought I would have everything in order. I’d be married with at least one kid and have the perfect job. Well, 27 came and there was no husband, no kids, and I’m not at the Washington Post yet. Or writing an award-winning novel. “How I Met Your Mother” finds the characters going through some of those same dilemmas I ponder regularly.
Turning 28 finds me thinking the same things: no husband, no kids, no perfect job. And now to make it even better, I’m only two years from 30, the age that places a shuddering fear in me. Isn’t 30 supposed to be an age where I find my life in great shape and rolling right along? Instead, yes, it’s two years away but I’m not exactly hopeful that I’ll have all my ducks in a row.
I know, depressing, right?
But I’ve noticed something about me. I’ve gotten really comfortable with spending Friday nights at home. I stay pretty busy throughout the week and by the time Friday night comes around, I’m not the old song by The Judds called “Girls’ Night Out.” I’m a slightly tone-deaf tune by Amanda Greever called “Girl’s Night In.”
Have I gotten old before my time? It’s silly, but it’s something I can’t help but ponder. The 20s are supposed to be fun and a little crazy before you settle down, but I’m not sure I’m actually, well, fun, anymore.
So, Friday night I decided I needed to get out. A friend had invited me out so instead of saying no, I got up off my couch and headed out. I saw some faces I hadn’t seen in forever at what was once my favorite hangout. I played darts, learned bumper pool and ended up talking with friends till almost 4:30 in the morning. It was the latest I had been out on a Friday night in a long time.
And honestly, it was fun. Yes, I was up crazy late, but it was fun! It took me back to my early days at The Daily Times. I came to Maryville when I was just 22 and worked a night shift for my first few years here. I was fun and carefree. I wasn’t worried about getting my life in order because 30 was just around the corner. I wasn’t noticing the faint ticking of a clock. In the words of the King of Siam, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
Friday night reminded me of the girl I used to be, and I realized how much I had missed her. So as I go into my 28th year, I have to figure out how to blend that wild and fancy-free girl with the woman that I’ve become. It’s not an easy task, as I still dread 30, and it’s closer than ever. Guess all I can do is wait and see.