Amanda Greever

A while back I wrote a column about a friend of a friend who went to a strip club with her new husband on their honeymoon. I was baffled at both behaviors: that of the husband having so little respect for his new bride and that of the new bride having so little gumption and being unable to say no.

Strip clubs have always been a curiosity factor for me. They hold a mysterious appeal to men and sometimes women. But the question is, why?

As one friend put it, do these people have so little imagination that they need this type of stimulation in their face? I’m not so concerned with lack of imagination so much as how much it actually costs to look but not touch.

If you’re the type that can’t fathom the very notion of a strip club, look at it this way. It’s like taking a shopping trip, paying to try on the most expensive dress and then leaving it at the store. Has your time been well-spent in that endeavor or does it just leave you unsatisfied?

Or as I heard one GUY put it the other night, it’s like paying to go to a restaurant and having a fabulous meal (let’s say steak) placed before you. You can look at the steak and you can drool over the steak but you’re not going to get to see if it’s as good as it looks. On top of all that, you probably have to buy a couple of drinks just to look at your forbidden feast. It gets even more expensive when every few minutes you have to drop another 10-spot.

I love what one of my other friends told me, though. She has a cousin that lives in Las Vegas, and he’s single. His married friends have been strip-club attendees while on a business trip. The cousin, being the single one, is still the one that hasn’t gone. He finds it disrespectful to women (go, friend’s cuz!) while the married guys see no problem with it. I’d love to know what their wives think although I would bet my own 10 that the ladies are clueless.

So what draws men to strip clubs? Is it that fact that every single lady is putting herself through school, no matter what her age? Really, I don’t quite understand why that’s the common excuse for taking off your clothes for money. My school certainly wasn’t that expensive.

What circumstances could possibly drive a woman to that profession? No, I’m not trying to judge. Desperate times do call for desperate measures. And I’ll be the first to admit I don’t have the body to do it. Various strip clubs advertise X number of pretty women and one ugly one. What man in his right mind is going to get excited at the thought of seeing an ugly woman on stage? And how do you feel if you’re the ugly one?

I know that strip clubs hold a certain allure to guys. Hey, you just turned 18 … you can go watch women strip. Hey, you’re getting married tomorrow … you should totally go watch a bunch of women take their clothes off. Hope it doesn’t hurt the honeymoon. Or maybe you can go together WHILE you’re on the honeymoon. Nothing says “I love you” quite like a lap dance from another woman.

I’ll never understand it. There are plenty of other ways to find entertainment that are cheaper and a lot more sanitary. And the ladies at these clubs deserve more respect than this can ever afford them.

Amanda Greever is assistant managing editor for print at The Daily Times. She writes a weekly column in Women’s Times. She can be reached at 981-1163 or amanda.greever@thedailytimes.com.

Where were you when Michael Jackson died? It’s a question people will be asking in the future. They might change it around and use the title “King of Pop” instead.

My answer will be simple. I was at work. I was working on a special project while the universal desk (the folks who design and lay out the pages you hold in your hands every day) was working on Friday’s paper. The entertainment world had already had a blow from the news that actress Farrah Fawcett had died earlier, a fact they were making sure to get in.

A coworker mentioned she had just gotten a message that Michael Jackson had died. We started a search on the Internet and discovered that celebrity-news outlet TMZ was the only source citing his death. Despite what some might say about The Daily Times, that’s not credible enough for us to run with the story.

However, as time passed, Jackson’s death gained more validity and was finally proven to be true. Thus, the media circus began.

My Facebook was swarmed with status updates proclaiming shock and dismay. Flipping through TV channels only provided more glimpses at the artist. I heard Jackson compared to Jerry Garcia, John Lennon and Elvis Presley, although some comparisons weren’t received very well. Fawcett’s death was brushed to the side as frenzy of Jackson news bombarded anyone with ears and eyes.

I’ll be honest: I got tired of hearing about it. Every aspect of Jackson’s life was being replayed for us over and over. There was his marriage to Lisa Marie Presley, the countless cosmetic surgeries, the allegations of abuse of little boys, his musical highlights, etc.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m still a fan. I enjoy his music as much as the next gal. I even tried doing the moonwalk in the privacy of my own home.

And I’ll admit that the day of Jackson’s memorial had me glued to my screen, both on my computer at work and at home. I was as curious as anyone else to see Jackson’s gold coffin and what some of the biggest names in the industry had to say. I even got a little misty-eyed as Brooke Shields recalled moments with Jackson and read a poem about “the little prince.” I even watched a marathon of his videos on BET. The man had talent. Of that, there is no doubt.

But is he worthy of the deifying that his death has brought about? MJ, no matter how talented or popular, was still just a man. He had his demons and problems, just like the rest of us. He wasn’t perfect, just like no one is.

When I was in high school, we had grief groups if a student died. Yes, it was tragic that someone so young had their life ripped away from them. However, the members of the grief groups didn’t necessarily know the student who had died that well, if at all. In fact, the death of a fellow student was nothing more than a reason to gain attention and get out of class due to the overwhelming “grief” they were feeling.

Jackson was 50. He’d lived a life full of mystery and wonders of which most of us can only imagine and dream. He still had more on the way, though. He was working on a new world tour, and I’m sure that new albums would have been produced at some point. So yes, Jackson died with a lot of living left to do.

The fate of Jackson’s estate, his children, etc. are still hot buzz in the media. Debbie Rowe was offered $4 million to give up the kids, a fact she denies … Jackson did this … Jackson did that … etc.

Yes, he made a mark on the music industry and pop culture. Yes, I would even call him an icon, but he’s no deity. There’s talk of proclaiming a Michael Jackson Day, an honor I find a little bit too lofty … unless it’s going to result in a day off from work.

Jackson left a family (and world apparently) in mourning. Remember his legacy and the impact he made as the “King of Pop.” Mourn him if you will. But it’s time to let the man rest in peace.

“I am not a quitter. I am a fighter.”

Those are words Sarah Palin used to defend her decision to resign her position as governor of Alaska. The decision comes a year and a half before her first term ends. In the interview she granted with CNN, she noted that she had taken the tougher path in making this decision.

She blamed the “political bloodsport” that had sprung up since she was picked to be a vice presidential candidate, the yin to John McCain’s yang. She said her decision was spurred on by the various ethics complaints that had been filed against her. She said that the complaints were frivolous and took away from what the great state of Alaska deserved.

CNN also quoted her personal lawyer, Thomas Van Flein, in saying she needed a break after being “on duty for two and a half years solid.” He also said that jokes made by late-night host David Letterman had helped to contribute to her decision. Apparently Palin feels that she and her family were being attacked and was just tired of it all. Darn tootin’!

I’ll admit that the media has had a field day with this former beauty queen and her incessant manner of making those who listen to her feel a little bit brighter. Or dumber for having actually listened to the woman try to come out with a coherent thought.

Her interviews with Katie Couric were great entertainment. I honestly looked at them on YouTube when I needed a laugh. The characterization presented by Saturday Night Live’s Tina Fey was really more on the mark than many were willing to admit. You betcha they were!

And now Palin is under fire again, a fire of her own making. She claims she is a fighter yet the pressure of being in the spotlight and critiques have caused her to retreat. She doesn’t like the word “retreat” and instead says she’s making a progress of sorts. The problem is the fact that it’s not simply her critics that are blown away and bothered by her decision to resign. It’s her constituents, as well.

Palin signed a contract of sorts with the voters of Alaska. When they elected her, it was with the understanding that she would serve a four-year term and do what is in their best interests. Instead, she resigns and calls the days after that announcement “exhilarating.” She planned the announcement for the eve of Independence Day as she called this her moment of freedom.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not heartbroken by the fact that Sarah Palin resigned. I’ve found some amusement in the hubbub that’s been created. What makes it even more amusing is the fact that she is not ruling out the possibility that she will run for the 2012 presidency or any other public office. She says that right now she doesn’t need a title to serve the people of the great state of Alaska or Joe Six-Pack.

This lady has got some gumption for thinking it’s OK to resign an elected post because the pressure was too much and yet still be able to hope the voters of this country will trust her in one of the most powerful positions in the world. Lady, if you thought the pressure and criticism of being Alaska’s governor was bad, what do you think about the big job. The president doesn’t simply worry about one state, he or she worries about 50. Then there’s international relations because really, we don’t want another country’s nukes aimed at our heads.

Once you step into the spotlight, whether in public office or simply as a well-known figure, you accept the fact that not everyone will like you. You will be heckled, criticized and insulted. No one is popular with everyone, not even yours truly. A danger of being a public figure is the very knowledge that someone, somewhere would love to see you crash and burn. Don’t get me wrong. The limelight is not all bad but the higher you go, the more pressure there will be.

I’d love to see a woman in the highest position in the land. When I was in high school, I was determined I would be the first female to earn that office. Well, my chances are growing slimmer but the thought of Sarah Palin as president makes me throw up a little bit.

I’m both shocked and amused by those still hoping she’ll make a run for it in 2012. But I have to ask, do we really want a president that might wake up one day and decide she needs a break?

I hate loaded questions. You know the type, the ones that have no right answers.

“Does my butt look big in these jeans?”

“Honey, is she prettier than me?”

“Does size really matter?”

Those are questions that if you answer yes, you’ll not only be in trouble but sleep on the couch as well. But if you answer no, then you stand the risk of the person not believing your answer. It’s a lose-lose situation.

What happens when that loaded question is on a hot topic of controversy already and the answer is seen by TV viewers all across the nation? Drama. Lots of drama.

A question posed to Miss California Carrie Prejean during the 2009 Miss USA pageant caused quite a stir. She was lucky enough to be asked a question by Judge Perez Hilton — an openly gay celebrity blogger — during the question and answer session. Hilton’s question was “Vermont recently became the fourth state to legalize same-sex marriage. Do you think every state should follow suit? Why or why not?”

Prejean’s answer caused both cheers and boos: “… We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite. And you know what, I think in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there, but that’s how I was raised.”

Hilton blasted the response via a video blog called Prejean both dumb and a b****. According to him, it wasn’t because she didn’t advocate gay marriage but more the fact that she didn’t have a more diplomatic answer about how each state should make that decision.

To me, the question was loaded. Yes, if she had answered it exactly the way Hilton had mentioned, she could have gotten away with it but when you have a split second to come up with a good answer, the best answer isn’t always the first one out of your mouth. So she could say no, the states shouldn’t follow Vermont’s actions and would probably manage to irritate Hilton and who knows who else? But what if she’d said yes? She still would have irritated those who don’t believe gay marriage is OK because of moral or religious reasons. So people say she’s not very politically correct, but to me, neither answer would have been completely PC.

Miss California came in second in the competition. Was it because of her answer? Probably. We might never know for sure. The contestant who came in first was asked about government bailouts for companies and if she she thought taxpayers’ money should be used to fund them. She didn’t. She won.

Miss California spoke her mind and heart and didn’t care what anyone else thought about it. That answer probably cost her the crown. A close friend of mine isn’t dwelling on the fact that her answer was honest and heartfelt or just the fact that it might not have been politically correct. His view stretches to a wider audience, and his point so valid that I told him I was stealing it for my column. Do public figures have the right to their own opinions or should they go with the politically correct and diplomatic answer?

Honestly, I think I would rather have those in the public spotlight speak how they feel even if it’s not kosher with my opinion or yours. Don’t get me wrong, his or her view might irritate me and even make me lose a little respect. But if given the choice between a lie and the truth, I’ll take the truth any day. That doesn’t mean that I necessarily want to hear that I have a big butt or that some other woman is more pleasing to the eye. But hey, don’t ask a question if you don’t want an answer.

Amanda Greever is assistant managing editor for print at The Daily Times. She writes a weekly column in Women’s Times. She can be reached at 981-1163 or amanda.greever@thedailytimes.com. Check out her blog, greever.blountblogs.com,, or follow her on Twitter: www.twitter.com/agreever_editor.

“Feeling rough around the edges? It feels great to trim the hedges.”

No, that’s not referring to mowing your lawn although a British commercial for Schick Quattro bikini razors encourages you to do just that.

The racy commercial features young women singing a catchy tune about shaving the bikini area that will get stuck in your head. Trust me, lyrics like the ones in the commercial make it hard not to hum along afterward.

The commercial crosses so many lines, it’s amazing to me that it could be aired. There is a cat that goes from being nice and fluffy to hairless. Green, leafy bushes are not only sung about but trimmed throughout. Every euphemism you’ve heard people use before is referenced in this commercial.

It’s already circulating in the U.S. through the power of YouTube. BettyConfidential.com has its own article asking if the ad goes just a little too far. There IS a tamer version in the U.S., though that does feature leafy bushes of its own. However, there are no hot women singing about trimming them. The shrubs simply shrink down to nice and smooth shapes all on their own.

So does the ad go too far? Yes, it crosses the lines of good taste. Yes, it will offend some and make others blush. But does it succeed in its overall goal of getting people talking about this product? Maybe.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Being a woman can be a hairy experience. A woman’s personal maintenance isn’t just the topic of a raunchy commercial, but a possible ban as well.

A few weeks ago, I read an article on a potential ban on “Brazilian” waxes. The New Jersey Board of Cosmetology and Hairstyling is considering banning genital waxes after two women reported injuries afterward.

This isn’t the first time I’ve mentioned “Brazilian” waxing, but I’ve never exactly clarified what it is. A bikini wax will remove the hair along your bikini line so that nothing will show when you head to the beach. A “Brazilian” wax, on the hand, cleans up the front, the back and everything in between. Some leave what is called a “landing strip” but that’s the only hair left. Comprendé?

No, there is nothing comfy about that, and complications can occur. That’s one of the most sensitive areas on a woman’s body, and using wax to rip the hair away can cause irritation, infections, etc. Logic dictates that a woman going in for such a procedure would be aware of any possible downsides to being smooth as a whistle.

But our two ladies in New Jersey were both hospitalized due to infection, and one has filed a lawsuit, thus the potential ban. Is it really the government’s business to define what a woman can or cannot do down there?

Also, the waxing can be banned but it’s not going to stop those women from trying. They might attempt it themselves or simply go across state lines to get it done. Really, I’m not sure it’s the brightest idea to hurt salons’ business when the economy is already in dire shape.

Each and every woman knows what makes her feel sexy. Whether it be shaving or waxing her bikini line or going one step further with the “Brazilian,” she knows what makes her feel good about her body. There is already so much crap thrown at us about how we should look, whether it be weight, clothes, make-up, etc. Does anyone really have the right to say that you can’t get a thorough waxing? What’s next? No tattoos or piercings? Or do away with tanning beds? How about saying no to eyebrow waxing? Or that hair can’t be dyed? If you start taking away some rights, even one as frivolous as genital waxing, the line is crossed.

So hey, New Jersey, let’s go ahead and say no to the ban. Otherwise, go ahead and broadcast a link to a certain British commercial because one way or another, women are going to get the job done.